Tips for new Dads


Our young lad is now 3.5 months old. At first it was pretty easy for me as a dad. I would try to help out however I could. My wife is breastfeeding which made things a little trickier so here’s what I have learned summarized:

  • Buy a Boppy pillow AND bring it with you to the hospital for the delivery. I never heard of o a boppy pillow before but it’s pretty much essential for us now. It’s a pillow that goes around your waist, which you can then prop baby on while you feed. It makes feeding so much easier!
  • Some resentment towards your baby is normal.Babies are fucking dumb! Growing up in rural Ireland I saw calves, lambs, puppies, kitten and even a foal being born. Puppies, kittens and lambs all come out in goop that mommy cleans up, they find their way to feed and all is well. The calves and foal are up and standing almost instantly. Animals need to get their shit together quickly in order to survive. Human babies are coddled and so they are useless! What’s more, your baby can’t show you affection or interact with you for the first few months…so they just cry, shit, piss and eat. They get frustrated when their milk doesn’t flow quick enough. They cry when they are overtired..Our child does not have colic but even so he gets fussy and at first it can be really aggravating…don’t worry about that, it’s normal. After 2.5 months it all gets a little better. It turns into a great feeling. Can’t wait to see him at the end of the day now.
  • When breastfeeding the milk won’t start to properly flow right away. Give it time and use formula at first. Don’t allow anybody to convince you that formula is not suitable…I have learned other women can be right fuckin’ assholes about breastfeeding ethics 🙂
  • My wife and I had a thought out strategy beforehand. Before baby arrived I would usually only get about 5 hours sleep a night. I stayed up late working until 1:30 am – 2:00 am. We figured, she could pump and leave milk in a bottle for me and go to bed at 9:00 pm. I would stay up. When he cried I would take care of it. Change him, feed him, burp him and rocking him back to sleep. It worked pretty well for the first couple of days. Mom would wake up though and want to help..I would have to tell her to go back to bed. After a few days she started to insist on getting up and feeding him this was because when the milk started to flow she needed to release every few hours or she would be in bad pain. We have completely ditched the original schedule. She just gets up because she’s somehow superhuman! We’re in backwards ass America too, so she went back to work after 6 weeks.
  • At first when he cried it was easy to figure out what was wrong…it was one of only a handful of things. He needed his diaper change, he needed to be fed or he wanted to be held. Here’s a great tip you may not get anywhere else….say you give baby a pacifier to help soothe him to sleep. Guess what happens then? You’ve added something else to the list of reasons to cry. He’ll now cry for his pacifier or when his pacifier falls out. Say you put on music for him…when the music stops, he may cry. You let him watch Elmo…Elmo stops, he will cry. Now…the good thing about music, Elmo and the pacifier is that you have something he’ll enjoy and will make him happy but you also introduce more things he’ll cry for. Be warned!
  • My technique for changing a diaper is: Get a clean diaper, place it under him. Get a baby wipe in hand…quickly open the dirty diaper and place the baby wipe on his dick (you must be quick! This is incase he pees with the diaper happens a lot), lift him up by the legs and clean him off with another baby wipe. Once all clean take the baby wipes away, close the diaper. All gravy. We got a diaper genie for throwing the diapers into…it conceals the diapers so there’s no smell like you might get if just putting them in the regular bin.

About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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