A Cynicists Travel Review – Fuerteventura

Second place up is Fuerteventura which is part of the Canary Islands just off of Africa but is actually Spanish territory. I had heard that this Island was featured on the old TV Show The Love Boat…whether that’s true or not, who knows. Growing up in Ireland it always seemed to me that most Irish families would go to Lanzarote, Tenerife, Crete, Mallorca or Alicante. They were labelled as Sun Holidays. When I was younger or family holidays were few and far between because half of my family was in America, my parents opted to save enough money to fly us all over to stay with our family in the US. Which obviously was not cheap thus why we didn’t go too often. Certainly not every year. We also never went on a family holiday in Europe. My first trip to one of these European Sun Holiday locations was Zakynthos a year prior which I reviewed HERE

When I went to Zakynthos, it was for one week. Most of which was spent lounging around and not doing a whole lot of anything. But, we did go on a day trip. With Fuerteventura it was a little different. We went for 2 whole weeks!! And all the person I went with wanted to do was lounge all throughout the day and drink at night. I’m not a heavy drinker and one week sitting on my ass is fine to de-stress but two weeks was wayyyyy too much. I became very irritable and as a result started to hate the place. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot to do on the Island. The food was pretty good, the quality of the villa was excellent, some of the other tourists there were quite odd, the place seemed to attract a very mixed group of weirdoes. The weather kind of sucked, I guess it was good for people who were just there to get a tan. It was very hot but with a strong sea breeze. So you’d be roasting hot but then chilly every few seconds because of the strong wind. The colorful birds around the place was kind of cool, didn’t see much other wildlife.


It was on this trip that I came to realize what I witnessed in Zakynthos wasn’t an anomaly. Women lay by the pool with their tits out for all to see. It was explained to me that women felt comfortable doing it there because the men were so much more mature there and are more respectful of the female form….Which of course was bullshit, all you had to do was go out to the bars and see how the young local men ‘treat’ the tourist ladies.

Overall I have to say, I would never go back to this Island. In fact, I think I’m just done with European Sun Holidays. It’s lame. I don’t want to have to drink every night because that’s what everyone else there is doing.

As a complete aside to the actual review, I did have a pretty significant personal moment while there, which I figure I may as well share since it’s the only real positive thing I think of when I think back to that place. There was an English family staying at the same place as us. I would see them most days just lying by the pool. The husband and wife just relaxing, husband reading a book. Their daughter was mentally challenged, she didn’t really go into the pool very often unless her dad brought her in, she would play with her Nintendo DS most of the time. I could tell by the age of the parents and just from looking at the girl herself, that they were likely in their late 50’s early 60’s, while the daughter had to be in her late teens or early 20’s. I went out to a bar one of the nights to watch some live music. I saw that family front and center at a table right by the stage. They seemed to be enjoying the show, bopping to the music, with the dad helping the daughter color in something she had on the table. He would put his arms around the daughter and his wife and sway to the music. I’m not entirely sure why that has had a lasting impression on me and seemed so profound but it did. I’m happy I got to witness love like that though.

In Conclusion, I personally do not recommend this place. If you want to go for a week just to relax and the price is good. Go for it! But if you want some level of mental stimulation and to have fun. I strongly suggest you look elsewhere. Alright fuckers, I have spoken!



About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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