I’ve been having a lot of nightmares in the last two or three weeks. I started a new job, so I’ve been feeling a lot of stress. But anywho, perhaps due to sleep deprivation, I’ve been having some deep thoughts recently too. I was thinking, if somebody dies from a brain aneurysm, a heart attack, whilst in a coma and other ways…if you experience a sudden surge of brain activity. Imagine if that results in having a dream or nightmare just like you do when you sleep. Although you may die a ‘peaceful’ death at home in bed, in your mind your last moment could be that old recurring nightmare you had of falling only this time you don’t wake up. That’s it, that’s the last thought you had. Of course I have nothing to add to this that’s of any worth but I just found the concept interesting.
I also got to thinking, you know how so many marriages end in divorce. A lot of times the husband becomes unhappy in the marriage because he claims the wife changed when they had their kids and similarly, the wife complains that the husband isn’t stepping up as a father, he’s still going to the pub every weekend or messing around with his friends. That kind of makes it a complete gamble, doesn’t it? You can’t tell if somebody’s maternal or paternal instinct will kick in and it does play both ways, I’ve known mothers who also seemed to lack in the parenting department. If that’s the case how can you safe guard yourself against it? Wouldn’t it be nice if pre-nups became more common place across all states and countries to protect both parties involved. At this point of time, I’ve had more failed relationships than I care to admit. As a guy, especially knowing that, it’s tough to get behind the idea of marriage. I once heard a comedian describe marriage for men as signing a contract you wouldn’t agree to when buying a used car let alone a life long commitment. Without the pre-nup, if you’re a guy and you do want kids, what do you do? I guess the best bet is to look for a partner, don’t hook up with a woman who’s got looks but nothing else. When in a relationship, find that persons worst mood and think, can I deal with this any time that person thinks I didn’t feed the kids the right thing or wrap them up warm enough or left the fuckin’ toilet seat up? If that maternal streak kicks in, you can bet that attitude will come out when it comes to the kids in the very least. Possibly in relation to every thing you do. Do I sound cynical at all?
Divorce law certainly doesn’t seem to be kind to men. It’s a huge gamble. I could never understand in cases like Paul McCartneys, where he made his fortune long before that fucker came on the scene, why did he have to pay her a single cent? They didn’t have kids, there was no real tie. On the other side, why did Madonna have to pay off Guy Ritchie? The laws are dumb. Also, if a man does want kids and he has them with a partner who he doesn’t marry, he doesn’t seem to have much of a legal foot to stand on. I’ve read stories of men fighting to get their name even put on their kids birth certificates.
Also in the long and short of it. We seem to create so much conflict…we all have one thing in common which is the biggest fact of life. We will all die, whether we’re Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Jewish, Muslim, Catholic etc. We all face death, something which, even if we have a religion and faith is terrifying, our instincts tell us to avoid death for the most part. The adrenaline when going on a roller coaster, driving really fast is because we’re toying with death. It’s our natural reaction and that makes it seem to me that war, conflict, racism and hatred amongst anybody is pretty pointless. YET! It’s part of life, personally I feel hatred when I’m slightly inconvenienced by another person. I hate rude people, arrogant people and people with stupid fucking faces. Hate is also a birth right, I guess.
Well that’s it for this week rambling awful babble.