Steve vs Kanye…still

I recently made a horrendous decision to leave my job and start kind of fresh in an office. Its a new start regardless of how much I hate it. Positive? My entire routine has been thrown out of whack due to this. I get up earlier and I get home (depending on the day) later. I spend my mornings walking, almost endlessly, to work. There is more money in the Steve booze, cigarettes and fast food fund nowadays but is it worth it? Time will tell. Time will indeed tell.

Why am I telling you this? Simply put…It is the summer of change. Everything around me is changing. I have a new job and a new routine. Change. I have one new housemate and I soon will have two more. Change. In four weeks time I will be finishing out the summer living with three completely different people who where not here when it started. Change. Our friends who lived around the corner have, just yesterday, moved out. Change.

I have had to make new friends at work and (even if you are a casual reader of this website) you know how much I hate people. I now have to seem interested in other people. Massive change. I am now “The New Guy” compared to six short weeks ago when I was “The Guy”. I had staff. Now I am staff. Massive change. I had the answers to everything and now I have questions for everything. Earth-shatterring change.

Why have I been away from the blog you ask? I have not posted on this site in five weeks. Surely, during all of my new found issues, I would use this website to vent my regret and fury? I wish I could but my iPod finally gave in. World Changing, Hobby-stopping Change. I assume people would be shocked to know that I write all of my posts from my iPod?  It hurt. My iPod. My method of creating a Fortress of Steve solitude. My window to the internet world…gone.

But now I am back. I recently got myself a stupidly expensive phone to continue entertaining you fine people…because I missed you all. Gay. You all owe me money.

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So with all this change you would expect a new Steve right? No. Kanye West must die. As all around my world shifts one thing remains constant. Kanye West and the people who use legal tender to gain access to his noise should be kicked into the centre of the raging fires of the sun. Have you heard his latest slight against the Lord Christ Ryan Giggs? Behold Kanye! Behold Kanye at his most mentally challenged! Behold “Jeezus”! Just listen to it. Please. Its awful.

“I AM A GOD”. Giggs save us all! Not alone are those noises offensive to all who have the gross misfortune to hear them but I dont think he delivered the message he wanted. What Kanye, in his infinite retardation, is trying to convey is that he, Kanye I am Sam West, is a God and that it is a well known fact in his sheltered little Hollywood world.

What it sounds like is “I AM a god.” Listen to it again and prove me wrong. It is as if he is trying to convince us of this. Allow me to post a lyric from this list of mentally challenged scribble. And I quote.

I am a God
So hurry up with my damn massage
In this French-Ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants

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Genius. Pure genius. Kanye West ladies and gentlemen. KANYE DOES NOT WAIT FOR HIS CROISSANTS. Behold your God.

This man now has a child. He is responsible for a human life. “But what about the mother, Steve?.” The mother is Kim Kardashian. A woman famous for being famous, has boobs and a Sex Tape. And here comes the worlds most depressing sentance. Kanye may be the brains of the operation here. Go shower. I needed a shower after typing that.

He named his child “North”. “North West”. This should be constituted as child abuse. Imagine that unfortunate kid going in to school with a name like “North West”?! You wouldnt last a day in a North Mayo secondary school with a name like that.

But then again, you have to worry that the poor helpless child will never make it to school. It is Kardashian/Kanye hybrid. It has very little chance at being anything other than an oversized human paperweight. But what if the apple has fallen from the tree and has caught a flight going the furthest possible distance away from the tree without going back the other way? It is possible I guess, even with Kim Kardashians well used uterus and Kanyes’ presumably upside down and inside out swimmers.

Imagine Kanye trying to teach a person to read or write? Look at his lyrics!

French-Ass Restaurant

Imagine Kanye trying to help a child speak? Imagine little North West going up to her parents asking for help with Maths homework only to find them flinging feecees at each other live on MTV.

I will leave you with his finest verse from this abortion.

I just talked to Jesus
He said “What up Yeesus”
I said “Shit, Im chillin
Tryna stack these millions
I know he the most high
But I am a close high
I am a God
I am a God
I am a God

Actually “Abortion” might not have been a bad name for their child. Or a means to deal with it in a humane way. Having those two idiots as parents is no way to start life. Run away North West! Get away from these people! Distract them. Just hand your mother a bottle to “play with”. That should distract her long enough for a camera crew to show up and leak it online. Then give your father a sphere and a square hole. Sit down, shit your nappy for a few minutes to watch his head explode then make your way away from these idiots.

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I hate this world, and I am back.

Steve

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About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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2 Responses to Steve vs Kanye…still

  1. Neal says:

    Kanye West is a parody of himself! The lyrics to I am a god is a perfect example of this. He is also the finest hip hop artist going these. My dark twisted fantasy was the best Rap album since wu-tangs 36 chambers! Yeezus is quite good as well. His lyrics are clever(I believe they are designed to evoke reaction like yours) and musically he is blowing all other hip-hop artists out of the water these day!

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