How To Know What A Guy Wants

I was recently answering some comments on a post from a few months ago. The post was really created in jest, When I was showed the other sites which were offering dating advice for American women about dating Irish men, I laughed at how absurd most of them were and posted my blog entry as a result. It can be found HERE My blog entry touched on a lot of hard truths that were exaggerated in a failed attempt to be funny. What has shocked me is the fact that this post is now the most viewed on our humble little website!! We’ve got quite a few comments actually asking us serious questions about what the hell is wrong with the Irish guys they are dating.

All or at least most of the questions, have been from ladies who really like the guys and seem to want something more than just sloppy drunken sex or an old fashioned Letterfrack reach around. So here’s the skinny, ladies! If you want something serious from an Irish guy, there’s no difference between Irish guys and any other guy on the planet, I would bet a coke and a blowjob on that. If you want to get a guy to be your boyfriend rather than just a guy you are ‘friends’ with then this is my advise.

Golden rule, if you want a boyfriend. Don’t have sex with the guy. I’m not saying every single guy out there subscribes to this theory but, I know for myself and seemingly many other guys if a girl gives it up quick that’s ok, that’s cool, we’ll happily oblige but it’s most likely that we’ll keep up appearances and date you a few times knowing the wall has fallen and we’re going to get sex at the end of the night after every time we meet up. But why would we want to be in a relationship with you? Rightly or Wrongly, us guys assume you ladies get approached on nights out multiple times. If you were impulsive enough to hop in the sack with us, then you’re just as likely to do it with some other guy and speaking for myself, I’d rather not find out that you are THAT impulsive after I’ve married you and we’ve had a kid, I own too many nice things!

So if you’re a lady, you are probably moaning right now that what I typed above is an unfair double standard. Why are you telling me not to hop in the sack, when guys can do that and get high fives and ‘adda boys from their friends for it? Well…get over it. Us men cannot get laid any given night (without paying for it) whilst the majority of you lovely ladies could walk out your door, go up to the first guy you see and tell him to hop inside ya. I read a pretty vulgar and yeah, pretty unfair analogy about men and women. A key that can open any lock is called a master key, a lock that can be opened by any key is a pretty lousy lock….take that for what it’s worth. And hey, by all means if you want to fuck around then have at it, you just can’t expect to find a partner that way.

Next rule, The not having sex with the guy doesn’t mean wait until marriage or to even wait too long. You’ll know you’re own threshold, whether it’s 5 dates or 2 months or whatever. If you wait that long and are meeting up with the guy and he’s still there after 2 months, then obviously you don’t annoy him that much, otherwise he would have moved on to the next HO. Similarly, if he annoyed you then you’d likely have either given up on him or had sex with him and then stopped bothering to call or text him after getting your rocks off…it’s a dangerous game this, you don’t want to wait too long. You risk heartbreak for yourself or possibly heartbreak for the guy. Either way, if you do wait for it, then by the time you two horny fuckers do it, you both like and respect each other a lot, add that with anticipation of doing the nasty and it will make it much more intense and intimate than if yee just hopped on one another too quick. If the sex is good then you’re both onto something special.

Finally, don’t grow dependent on the guy and don’t let him become dependent on you. I’ve been on both sides of this. I gave up my own ambitions and hobbies to be attentive to a girlfriends needs and the tough time she was having, I built my life around her, only for her to cheat on my ass and leave me. I also have had girlfriends who were too dependent on me for reassurances, to keep them company and to provide one sided emotional support which just puts a stress on things and this lead me to doing all the wrong things and being a complete piece of shit (Not an excuse, at all..I’m just saying). So, keep in mind, treat your boyfriend\husband as a friend and partner in life but also lead your own life. If he wants to go away for a weekend with his friends or do something without you, don’t cry about it. Also don’t just do shit to spite him and get back at him, because he dares to live his life. Just let it go, accept that he’s got his own life to lead and you need to do the same.

Boom, there is it,


About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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50 Responses to How To Know What A Guy Wants

  1. I just wanted to say that this is the BEST dating advice I’ve ever read, and yes this goes for all men, not just the Irish ones. Irish guys are my favorite. I only wish I could a nice one where I live 😉
    If more women read this I think they would benefit greatly from it!

  2. Felicia Gonzalez says:

    Love your honesty. A friend showed me because I’m headed to Ireland in the spring and made a joke about finding a man while I’m out. Both posts are hilarious. Cheers!

  3. Dj says:

    I actually found your first article to be fucking hilarious (albiet a bit dissapointing, of course, considering every woman at some point or other dares to fall under the illusion that dating a man from another country would be a romantic, exotic experience.) But it was brutally honest, and thus, refreshing. It’s not often that one can actually cackle aloud while staring at their phone like a drone, so thanks for that. Excellent work, captain!

  4. sakimikaze says:

    I’m from Canada, I tried to join a couple apps on my phone to attempt to meet some Irish men, but I don’t know if that’s commonly used since the amount of them on those apps was quite limited compared to other countries.

    My aunt used to tell me all sorts of stories of Ireland and Ive always been enchanted by what I heard, How the grass is so lush and green and the fields are so endless, the beautiful lakes in Ireland!

    I learned about the potato famine from 1845 to 1852 in school because I had to do a report related to my favorite food at the time.

    I would be lying if I said I didn’t think the accents Ive heard from some Irish men were also adorable!

  5. Susan says:

    Im in love with the idea that ONE DAY….i MIGHT see ireland… Now…if that day comes…and i eat a four leaf clover…well then…i suppose i will just have to move theup…dont want to break a lads heart and all 😉 lol

    Btw…i just read both post…i totally got the sarcasm… I think its funny. I’m not sure if I could get too butt hurt from being insulted by such a beautiful accent….and I’m not the woman to piss off. I don’t do the “make up sex” thing….unless of course…there is a beautiful accent involved… Then I just might not be able to help myself. Lol who knows.

    American men have become shit! I’m tired…I’m in my 30’s and I just want to be happy. I deserve that much!

    Best wishes to all

  6. Christy says:

    I enjoyed your rant though I didn’t buy all that. Lol. I’m an American woman determined to move to Ireland

  7. Elaine says:

    I’m planning a trip to Ireland next May and a friend of mine just sent me this. Hahaha! Loved it! Looking forward to adventuring in your country and meeting men who loved Guinness as much as I do.

  8. Carol Brigid says:

    I want to meet a nice Irish man. I live in Maryland. I have no idea where to find my Irish man. I don’t trust all of the dating sites. Maybe you have some suggestions as to the best places to meet Irish guys locally, rather than using the long distance chat rooms or the singles sites? I would appreciate if you have any suggestions. I’m looking for a good relationship with someone. Thank you!

    • Sorry for taking so long to reply. The comments on this site have kind of spiraled out of control. Honestly, The Irish have become as obsessed with Dating sites as the US. So, they are the best place to go. It’s no longer a sore point, you don’t have to make up where you met each other. Everybody is doing it.

  9. Cookie says:

    I’m sorry you feel a bit miffed, but you guys are just f* excruciatingly irresistible. As soon as we see those eyes, freckles, and you begin to speak, it’s a lost battle for morals. I am speaking from an American, Black, military girl’s perspective (worked with a lot of Irish), but as far as I know, all of us (Americans) feel this way.
    I am scared for my helpless-romantic child to study abroad in Dublin this summer. I may never see my princess again!

  10. Linked post: Absolutely hilarious!
    This post: Complete and total truth, for both men and women. If a ‘relationship’ is founded on the basis of sex, that is most likely all it will ever be. And just like you mentioned, once the initial hormone craze subsides, that other person could very easily annoy you to no end or you might discover that you don’t have any genuine long-term interest in THEM. This is true regardless of which side of the table you’re sitting on. Additionally, it’s usually pretty easy to tell what a person’s intentions or motives are, to a certain extent. For example, if they only want to hang out in your bed or your pants, then I would say their interests are obvious – and they don’t include you on a regular or long-term basis.

  11. Annabel Collins says:

    You are amazing!

  12. Taylor says:

    I’m American. I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my now fiancee for three years. He lives in Belfast. He’s been here several times and I’ve been there several times. The last time I was there, actually, I was denied entry and sent back home and now unfortunately I can’t go back unless I sneak in through the South! But that’s beside the point. I read a comment you made to someone about unemployment struggles in Ireland right now, and that’s really the purpose for my writing. Aaron, my fiancee, has graduated from university about eight months ago now and cannot find a job. I have a full time job without any higher education and my own apartment, and I’m ready to close the distance and for us to be living in the same country. Our original goal was for me to live there with him, but I don’t have any special skills or talents that’ll get me there on a long term visa and he can’t pass the financial requirement needed to support me on a fiancee visa. Anyway, my point is, we’re in a very frustrating spot right now. I love him with everything I have in me and I’ll never want another man. I cannot and will not ever picture me being with an American now that I’ve been so charmed by my Irishman. However, I know he is feeling depressed and insecure about not finding a job. His qualifications are in game design and he feels them to be completely pointless and like he’s wasted his time, assuming he’ll never find a job that’ll take him seriously. He’s at a point where he’s given up trying to look for a job. He just sits in his room all day (at his mother’s house) and plays Football manager and League of Legends with his friends all day while I work and try to make a life for myself. I want to move on and live a life WITH him. I’m tired of the distance and I’m tired of waiting six months between visits and I’m horny as hell all the time and I want to cook for him and clean for him and make him feel like a freaking king. My problem is, I don’t know how to approach my frustration to him in a way that will inspire him to pick up the pace and get his head out of his ass and stop hosting a pity party for himself and get a move on with the job search – without sounding like an utter bitch about it. I’ve tried being nice and babying him, but then he seemed to think I would let is slide if he went ONE MORE DAY letting his mom take care of him while he sat about. Then I tried being tough on him, but he’s so hard headed and he makes it seem like I do nothing but bitch at him all day. Look, I know he loves me. I know he’s in a hard place. But he’s using him being in a hard place as an excuse to stay in a hard place, and it’s driving me frickin insane. I don’t know how to approach it, is all. I don’t know the magic words that’ll make him man up. I want to see things his way, but I feel like we’re going in circles around each other. He doesn’t understand me and I don’t understand him, when I’m sure we’re feeling the exact same way: Frustrated at this job situation. What is the most effective way, do you think, to make him realize that I am at a stand still in my own life, waiting for him to get his started so we can eventually and finally bring them together?

    • That’s a tough one. Unfortunately, back home a lot of people get too comfortable with the support system in place. It’s very cushy. Why doesn’t he move to the US. Even if it’s just for a while. He can apply for jobs back home while making some money in the US. He could possibly get a job in his area of study too

  13. Nikki says:

    I’m dating an Irish guy for about 7 months now, and I think both of these articles are hilarious. We both drink like fish, we get along perfectly and we’re both number one priority in each others lives. And, his parents love me (score). This was a good laugh, but I didn’t do anything special to get him, I was just myself, as was he 🙂
    (im also a bit Irish myself, though I’ve never been there. He grew up there, lucky bastard, but im going there to meet the rest of his family in July!)

  14. Tami says:

    Thanks for snapping me back into reality…

    • alicia hicks says:

      i love these posts, they are both informative and funny to me. i am planning a trip to Dublin Ireland with my daughter, i have been researching Ireland for months now and i believe it is a beautiful place and i am very excited to visit there, by the way i am American and i have been dreaming of having a fairytale romance with an irish guy, i absolutely love the irish accent and from the time i watched the movie “P.S. I LOVE YOU”,i have been intrigued with the thought of having a relationship with an irish guy. i am about to be 39 yrs old next week and i am not silly enough to believe that romance is any different in Ireland than it is here in America or that the irish men are less of an ass than allo the men here,but i am still hopeful for love and happiness and my own fairytale. i have heard that irish guys are not attractive,they drink too much,are not ambitious at all and i wanna know how true this is? i have seen some very attractive irish guys but it has been on movies and i know they don’t all look like that but i wish they did,lol… i have been talking to a guy that lives in Belfast for a couple of months,i met him online and i think he is very sweet and attractive and i hope he is the same in person but if not is there any hope of finding the right guy in Ireland and living happily ever after?

      • Do you like unemployed guys? Because a large number of Irish men are just that right now. We have a fairly high per capita of ugly people but there’s always exceptions. Sure Steve and I are feckin rides! The guy from Belfast will have a very different accent and possibly a alightly different temperment and outlook to the guya down South. It’s a bit dangerous to target a very certain type of guy, his nationality and accent probably shouldn’t be the main draw as that can only keep you interested for so long. Either way, Have fun in Ireland!!

        • alicia hicks says:

          Thank you very much for your quick response. I agree that the accent and nationality should not be my reasons for wanting an Irish guy but that is the reasons that I am intrigued,lol. I didn’t know that the accent was different from Belfast to the southern part of Ireland but that is nice to know. I dont want any guy no mater where he is from if he is unemployed,I have to have a guy that is motivated to have more outta life,but its a nice dream I guess,lol..well its nice to know that there are at least a few Irish guys like you that have and want more in life. I intend to enjoy my trip to Ireland and all of the beautiful scenery regardless of ugly,odd accented,jobless Irish men,lol. Thank you again for writing me back,have a good day!😁

  15. Finljandija says:

    You know what, I don’t think you’re anywhere near as cynical and annoying as you aim to be. You’re already in love with me and oh so passionate about this Steve as well. You are a romantic, mister! Sunshine and lollipops, rainbows everywhere… But, moving on. All the best with the blog and your temple!

  16. Finljandija says:

    So how many times do you think you’d have to meet a woman to be convinced that you’re a special case and she’s not screwing every moving object? And yes, I agree, if someone is “just tossing it around willy nilly” they probably would be more likely to cheat but just because someone is having sex with you doesn’t mean they would have it with every willing individual. And how about you? I get the impression that you’re not that picky. What does that tell about you and your likelihood to cheat? That’s not as bad since you’re a man and getting laid is a bigger task for your gender?

  17. Finljandija says:

    I don’t know bout you but this is how it goes over here: if a guy won’t take you into his life cause you took him into your bed, you didn’t miss out on anything. You know, ladies don’t have sex only because of love and men just cause their balls ache. That heartbreak business is a load of shit. It’ll be a much bigger heartbreak for everyone when you find out that the love of your life can’t do it for you in the sack. Sex is great and women enjoy it as well so why hold back for months if you like and respect the guy? I wanna know what I’m gonna get before starting anything too serious. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship but it’s pretty damn vital.

    • Good for you. I’m not talking about it from a womans perspective. I’m coming at it from a mans perspective. If a woman wants to hop in the sack with me right away, I’d go for it but wouldn’t be planning on seeing her again. Women can snap their fingers and get it whenever they want and if they just toss it around willy nilly, to me at least, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with her. She could very easily cheat, since sex is just an act of lust

  18. Pingback: An Americans Girls guide to Dating an Irish Man | The City Fathers

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