Iv had it. Action needs to be taken now to prevent this country from becoming the rudest place on the planet and it starts here today. I am sick to death of people treating other people like shit in everyday Irish life! I have no idea how this happened but we definitely used to be a happy and friendly country full of life and vigor and at least a little community spirit. Bunny Rabbits ran freely through the streets. What happened? Was it the money? People seem to think it was but I’d doesn’t matter what it was it matters how we fix it.
I am fed up of holding doors open for people only for them to walk straight by without saying “thank you”. I don’t do it for a pat on the back or anything, I do it because it’s good fucking manners. I realise the irony of using the word fuck in that sentence but trust me…loads more are coming. Fuck Kanye West that fucking piece of fuck! There, I told you. I once held a door open for a “lady” who seemed to be struggling with her buggy and I have never regretted anything more in my life. She did not thank me or even acknowledge me for holding the door open even after I clearly helped her out. Nor did she apologise for running the buggy carrying her bastard child over my toe as she marched past me all proud of herself. Bitchwhore.
Okay, obviously this country has changed due to crash we now know as MEGAFUCKMONEYGONERUNAWAYTIME but that doesn’t mean we should all treat each other like shit. The person who walks off the footpath on to the road to allow you and your family walk past did not advice you to buy a house in Meath for five hundred and fifty bajillion space-bucks only for you to commute to Galway or Dublin everyday as you live in negative equity until your great great great grandchildren pay it off by holding the bank manager at phaser-point and taking him to the vault on their hoverskateboards. Just thank me for clearing the path for you and thank your lucky stars I didn’t knock you out.
See, even I have been affected. There’s a lot of anger out there clearly. It’s pent up aggression from making horrific financial decisions when you worked in the factory that paid you €500 a week. OF COURSE you should buy a jetski and/or go skiing in Switzerland 6 times a year! Idiots. Everybody hates everybody for no bloody reason, everybody is pissed off, I get that but let’s use it productively yes? I’m not one for the shiny happy people approach to society. Everybody smiling and jumping through the meadows, maidens lavishing your generously proportioned loins with affection as your twenty eight puppies excrete jellybeans from their big cute eyes. No, I reckon that would drive people to serial murder…most likely me.
No, it’s simply to bring back basic manners and common courtesy. I have never seen such bitterness towards fellow people so let’s fix that. Let it out…for like, a year.
I propose the “Fuck you year”. Forget about manners and common decency to the common man. Let’s communicate through a series of grunts. “Fuck” for yes, “Fuck you” for no. All of you should get it out of your systems and unleash the full expletive laden fury of your anguish on each other and when the dust settles and the dust clears…we go back to being decent to each other, okay?
Treat everybody with complete contempt. When your pizza is delivered pay the guy, call him a complete wanker before he gets to smack you full force in the balls (DICKPUNCH!). Both parties are happy. Customer gets to mistreat a worker with anything they can come up with while he gets to live his dream (mine too) of punching that bastard in the flute. Everybody wins.
The filthy general public can fill their boots with hatred for a whole year while I sit back and wait for my Mecca. A less cuntish nation. If most of them end up killing each other…good. Less rude fuckwits in my new Ireland. Go Steve Go!
Please, Thank you, You’re welcome.
P.S. I was bordering on the whole “The fact that Dwayne is in the main event of Wrestlemania and I’m not makes me sick!” there. #SummerOfPunk