New York Ease

I made a trip back to me old stompin’ grounds this past weekend and by stompin’ grounds I mean the place I was born and spent the first year of my life with no memory of it. New York city. For anybody who has never been to New York, people say it’s the greatest city on Earth, which I do think is true in my opinion though it’s always a bad idea to hype something like that. It’s likely why I was not blown away when I went to Australia a couple of years ago, it was just too hyped up and could never meet the expectations that were set. In reality New York is grey, the people all seem miserable to look at, all frowning and just trying to get through the crowds, there’s a lot of trash around and also some pretty unsavory characters in some parts. The Subway, just like in London is easy to navigate and very convenient.

New Yorkers are very abrasive. I remember back in 2003 I was there with my mother and sister and we were looking for directions, I went up to a an NYPD police officer on a street corner and said “Excuse Me, Sorry to bother you but could you tell me the way to” Just then the guy walked away. It was so unbelievably rude that it was funny. On the same trip I walked through 42nd St, which is Times Squares, it was very busy as it always is, I was in awe because it was the first time I was old enough to comprehend the size of the place and the huge crowds. My head was up looking at some of the signs, I then heard a voice and looked over, some guy was talking to me and holding something in front of me, it was a flyer for a comedy show, I looked at it and kept walking. The guy shouts at me “HEY!?! You’re gonna fuckin’ look at the thing but not take it?” On the very same trip I was in a Burger King by Madison Square Garden on my way to Wrestlemania 20 when some hippy lookin’ guy comes over and asks if I would like to donate money to a homeless charity, I said no thanks. The guy just wouldn’t leave it there, he kept on my case. It was the first time I think I ever got confrontational and in somebodys face. I told him to leave me the fuck alone and get out of my face. He eventually called me a “Bush Loyalist” before walking away. You would think with all of these things happening to me there, I would not like the place but I do. The city has an edge to it, not only are some people abrasive but you kind of get caught up in that vibe and become abrasive yourself and that’s accepted. It’s an incentive to keep to yourself and assume the role of being anonymous in a city full of nobodies. You can just get lost in the crowd.

On top of all of this, the city is incredibly diverse. There’s mixes of all races and creeds and best of all, all of these races and creeds mix together and do not segregate themselves from one another. The people seem to have a common sense of humor, strut, attitude, style, accent etc. like the city has it’s own brand. The food is amazing, the Pizza is just as good as people say it is and the diners offer a great variety at relatively good prices. If you are planning to visit, I feel at least that navigating the city is really simple and the subway is a breeze so planning your hotel based on the subway stops is a good idea. JFK is connected by Air Train and Subway so is very easy to get to and from.

During my most recent trip I finally went to The Bronx Zoo. I love going to Zoos, I’ve been to a lot all of the world at this stage. In typical, something fucked up always happens when I go to New York way, the biggest enclosure in the zoo is for the Gorillas, it’s a pretty impressive sight. Anyways one of the largest Gorillas ended up dying hours after I left the zoo…this was the first Gorilla ever born in New York. Also then on the subway I noticed after a guy got off his seat to stand by the door to get off at the next stop that he seemed to drop some money. I walked over and went to give it back to him before he jumped off, as I walked closer I saw it was a 100 dollar bill and hesitated but figured I’d look like a tit just sitting back down so I went and picked it up, brought it over to the guy, tapped on his shoulder and he waved me away and hopped off the train. It was then that I realized there was a note attached to the inside of the bill. I didn’t read it, I just walked back to my seat and tossed the note back to where I found it.

A lot of Irish people still travel to New York for Christmas shopping, when in actual fact it’s to boast to people they know that they went to New York for Christmas Shopping and thus they have an assumed wealth. Whilst I don’t understand that because even in most of the outlet malls the value is not good enough to warrant an expensive stay in NYC, I would suggest that anybody should visit New York because there’s something for everybody. And if you just don’t want to go to New York ever because Americans are stupid or it’s not safe or some shit, well then good, stay the fuck out, you’ll just use up all of the oxygen ya fuckin’ Mook!



About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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One Response to New York Ease

  1. gemma says:

    question; how come you didn’t read the note?!!?!?!?!?!

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