So here we are again! It’s Six Nations time again and I am sure you are pumped to see some to quality rugby action. I guess you are all looking forward to days in the pub watching rugby, right? We are a helpful bunch here at thecityfathers.com and I want to give you a helpful guide to the best places to watch the rugby. So let’s take Galway city for example, I live here and I fancy myself as a good tour guide on the best places to go so let’s begin.
Ok, if you wake up on a crisp Galway Saturday morning all giddy and excited to watch Ireland play rugby this is what you should do. Fuck off somewhere else! Seriously, anywhere else! Don’t annoy me while I am trying to watch football. I cannot stress this enough.
I go to the same pub and I sit in the same seat every Saturday/Sunday to watch football and you sunshine boys have no right to disturb my routine. If I find one of you little pricks sitting within a 10 foot radius of me as you wear a scarf indoors I will come at you like a spider monkey. Leave your homoerotic man-grabbing sport at home where it belongs.
Now, I know I am quick to anger but come on…you don’t deserve to be anywhere near a sports bar on a Saturday. Your actual Rugby fans I have no issue with! Enjoy it folks! I genuinely hope that you enjoy every second of it and that your team wins all their matches by scoring multiple Rugbys to zero Rugbys but please please please go down the arse end of the city as to not interfere with normal service. That’s fair I think. You are lower in the food chain, know your role.
Now the real rugby fans are the ones that are watching Heineken Cup games, Rabo League games etc, these people you cannot begrudge watching their sport in public on front of actual sports fans. My problem is with the casual sunshine fans that pollute the streets during six nations games. You know the type – designer scarf on indoors, knock off Ireland T-Shirts, chinos and the all important Irish Times newspaper tucked under arm. Also the girls with their just purchased green tops annoy me the most, even more so when they have the Irish flag painted on their cheeks. You lot are just there to meet men so stop taking up space during the day…go out dressed provocatively at night and fill your boots for all I care. I hate you sunshine fans, you people are worse than Hitler. How dare you use up valuable oxygen in a room I am present in? You scum. Your own mother hates you.
If I walk into town on Saturday to find a sunshine boy sitting in my seat I am going to ask him to name the Irish team that he is SOOOOO excited to watch. I guaranDAMNtee I can name more of the players in that team and I feel nothing for the sport. Gameday 1 I will treat as a grace period slash learning curve. I will calmly explain the situation to the little fella and send him on his merry way but Gameday 2 is a zero tolerance situation. So when you are doing your hair for six hours in the morning just remind yourself of what will happen if you annoy us actual sports fans and imagine the pain of my size 12 boot in your face. You have been warned.