Lyrics in 2012 – Whiley “Heatwave”

Yesterday while on my lunch break my good friend Philip sent me a text message that reads “Today Fm now”. As I was walking towards the rainy city centre of Galway I could not access the radio but he rang me to explain. I thought his band was being played on the radio (which in a perfect world they would be) but it was the exact opposite thing.

He explained this “song” that he had been listening to on this Irish national radio station. This phone call will stay with me for the rest of my days. Essentially he explained the song had the lyrics “Put your hands upon my body” and something about slush puppies. Immediately I rang his parents to say that he was high on 27 different types of drugs but it turns out he wasn’t. It seems Philip was spot on…he did hear this song! Once again, these are the actual lyrics to a “song” being played on national radio. I have not changed a thing.

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you “Heatwave” by some fuckwit called “Whiley”.

“If I draw 5 for the day
Then we ain’t got to worry, we’re nice for the day
Inspired by the sun, take flight for the day
Sippin’ a cold beer, sunshine in your face

Long nights are crazy we are on them
My name’s Wiley yeah play my song then
When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave
I got vibes to sell, people want them

I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance, put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body

When the sun’s out see the gyaldem too
I wake up do another gyaldem tune
I ride out on my Yamaha R6
When I reach in the dance, bring the gyaldem through

Gyaldem know so they wanna wind up
I get behind her and she get wile up
She back it up good but I try my luck
Wining up gyal is the vibe I love

When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave
I’ve got vibes to sell people want them
My name’s Wiley yeah play my song then
When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave
Causing a heatwave, causing a heatwave, causing a heatwave
When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave

I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance, put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body

When the sun’s out we just wanna impress
I stand in the clear I don’t bother with mess
If it ain’t gonna sell I don’t wanna invest
If it ain’t got a vibe I ain’t got a interest

I wanna see a ice-cream van on the road
I wanna see a light skin gyal on the road
I wanna get a slush puppy with both flavours
Drink that now I’m right back in my zone

When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave
I got vibes to sell people want them
My name’s Wiley yeah play my song then
When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave
Causing a heatwave, causing a heatwave, causing a heatwave
When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave

I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance, put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on my body
I’ma party, I’m gon’ dance put your hands up on my body
On my body, on my body, put your hands up on m-m-y

When the sun’s out see the gyaldem too
I wake up do another gyaldem tune
I ride out on my Yamaha R6
When I reach in the dance, bring the gyaldem through

Gyaldem know so they wanna wind up
I get behind her and she get wile up
She back it up good but I try my luck
Wining up gyal is the vibe I love

When the sun’s out we just wanna impress
I stand in the clear I don’t bother with mess
If it ain’t gonna sell I don’t wanna invest
If it ain’t got a vibe I ain’t got a interest

I wanna see a ice-cream van on the road
I wanna see a light skin gyal on the road
I wanna get a slush puppy with both flavours
Drink that now I’m right back in my zone”

20120831-043803 p.m..jpg

What in the name of Lucifer is that?! I’m open minded so I will give it a chance and figure out what this “Whiley” gentleman is trying to say. Based on his claims it seems that he is planning on bringing a heatwave if and when he arrives. He also has vibes available for purchase. He is steadfast in his belief that his name is unequivocally “Whiley” and we as a people should play his song as, and I quote verbatim, “When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave
Causing a heatwave, causing a heatwave, causing a heatwave
When I arrive I’m causing a heatwave”.

It seems this gentleman has an unhealthy relationship with slush puppies as when he is on the road he expects to see an ice cream van. That is just an unrealistic expectation to have isn’t it? I mean every road? Come on now Mr.Whiley…that can’t really happen especially considering your appetite for “both flavours” of the stuff.

I have always been curious as to how somebody as talented as Phil Lynott could sit down, write his poetry, hammer out a bass line, call in Scott Gorham and Brain Downey to work their magic on guitar and drums to kick out a brilliant song. Or how John Lennon or Paul McCartney could write these instantly lovable songs that everybody knows. But, dear reader, I am fascinated how something like that horseshit becomes a “song”.

Seriously now! Who wrote this and who approved it for mass consumption? Who hired this patsy to spout this utter shite and how in the name of baby Jesus is this being played on radio?!

We need to rise up against this. We can sit here and complain all we want but that wont get us anywhere. Radio stations need to feel the affect of their shovelware in their pockets. Just turn off the radio. Panic ensues, formats change and the world is a better place. It happens in other countries…

Kill me in the face,
Steve

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About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
This entry was posted in Are you serious Bro? and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Lyrics in 2012 – Whiley “Heatwave”

  1. shane says:

    One question! Gyaldem?explain

    • Not a fucking clue! That’s what it says in the lyrics I copy/pasted! I assume its a noise he made that they decided to type it. Much like “Uhh” and “huh” I guess. Il investigate. Il have my people get in touch with his people to figure it out. I will then send it to the boys in the lab for examination. I assume the lab will explode due to the fuckwitted use of words by the this prick. Worse than Hitler, that lad.

  2. 21outsonline says:

    Holy crap I just saw this now! Thanks for confirming this… Turns out I wasn’t imagining things..

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