Eureka. I’ve solved Irelands Money Problem

It came to me in an inspired wank this afternoon. If the Irish tax payers are paying social welfare to 14.6% of the country and we’re in desperate need of jobs. Why not decide, hey we’re fucked and we’re going to be fucked for a long time which seems to be the consensus. Why don’t we account for that fact right now and tell companies come on over to Ireland, not only will you get low corporation taxes but for every person you hire that is currently unemployed we will give you a grant of 100 euros a week per person for the next 2 years. That offsets the wages which are lowering now anyways. That way the people get the skills that are required to be employable and get paid a wage and are off the dole and buying goods and services with their own money. Which will increase demand for goods and services which will mean new businesses opening up which will in turn mean more unemployed people working. We’ll be saved 88 euro a week per person and at the end of the 2 years we’ll have a return on investment because all the Celtic Tiger cubs that are currently unemployed now that don’t have any experience to get any job will have some experience. We’re saved. We’re all saved because of me. Rory! How do you like that? Where’s Enda at?, somebody get him on the phone, he’s going to want to hear this one.

Enterprise Ireland and those other assholes that do nothing for the country when having one of the easiest sales in Europe and every time there’s jobs created some scumbag tell us it’s because of the highly skilled workforce when that’s a damn lie can be replaced with a billboard in every captial city of the world. Anybody who moved to Australia must sit a re-entrance exam to see if they are worthy of one of the jobs. Fruit pickers and lay abouts need not apply. If they’d like they can do similar jobs in Ireland, like fuck they would. Just wait until I get power. My god it’s going to be a white flash of pure crazy. Once we have our heads above water again and there’s a bit in the oul coffers there’ll be a few more jobs created for auditors to check out every bit of public spending and every organization that recieves public funding. Oh yes, with Rory in charge our little country is going places. The national anthem will have to be changed of course, in this new land of prosperity we’re going to need something with a bit more pizazz like “Whiskey in the Jar” or “Wynonas Big Brown Beaver”

Show me a man, woman or child who would not have a tear in their eye singing that? Oh also no more tax exemption for religious organizations, artists and tax text messages by a cent or some shit. Also to attract tourists we should have topless Tuesdays in the month of July

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About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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