Rory’s retail moments

Lying in bed, I’ve just found myself thinking back to my days in retail. I now work in IT which is a walk in the park compared to retail, I really feel for people who have to do that for a living. I was trying to remember some of my worst memories of working in shops. Excuse the interchanging terms..tired

Working every Saturday night and not getting home until 12:45am or later. When you have a closing time, people tend to rush to get there before you close and so at that time a lot of drunk people come in and take their time leaving. Or old women with small coins.

Asking for ID when not being 18 yourself. I caught a lot of shit in school because I never sold to underagers. It was even worse when they’d go to my gutless work colleague, get sold it and rub it in my face. You want to repel young Irish girls, refuse them alcohol, all of them will hate you. Cunts 🙂

Working at 07:00am on a Sunday morning, radio playing a playlist through the night which would be on the same song every week when you get in. Sophie Ellis Bextor Murder on the Dance Floor ughhh..chills! Then usually met by drunks looking for drink or ciggarettes.

Charging for a plastic bag because its the law and people reacting as though you came up with it

The wonderful night I was moping the floor bent over to pick up a tea towel and see muddy boots slide over the floor and see 2 assholes I went to school with purposely muddying the floor I just washed.

Cleaning the public toilets. Especially when the fucking toilet is blocked

Being threatened with violence by irate customers over anything from asking for the 80 cents they went over the 10 of diesel they tried to put in their car to someone wanting to return something that wasn’t actually broken

Cashing Cheques. Why not just have a zero tolerance policy. Don’t cash any cheques otherwise you are open to getting fucked.

My manager calling me and the other staff “retards”

The knowledge you’d be fucked out of it for making a mistake or your till being down but nothing will be said when you do a good job. You’ll get your minimum wage and envy those on social welfare

Being asked to work at short notice and being given out to for not having your uniform.

People who don’t say hi or hello or thanks and please. Just Give me or I want, which os a lot of people in Ireland. Also people who don’t at least make eye contact at the end of the transaction to say thanks

The fun morning some guy asked for a car wash with the power wash, I got out and he had a fuckin Caravan.

A woman coming in and buying a 40 foot trampoline and getting me to put it into her convertible before saying to take it back out, her husband is near by and he drives a truck.

Dealing with most women aged 27-65. As Steve says Thundercunts. If there’s a way they can put you out, they will.

Managers telling you to only take back valid returns meaning you stand your ground. When the customer asks to speak to the manager he just returns it

I fucking hate retail!!


About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
This entry was posted in Are you serious Bro?, Fun in Retail and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Rory’s retail moments

  1. Denise says:

    ahh!!! the plastic bag one just unearthed a red demon like anger in me! I had obviously shoved this anger way down cos it’s after springing back up with a force! Old people and their fecking plastic bags! “I’m not paying for a plastic bag…..” ‘that’s fine sir ‘ – and I’d put the bag away, “How am I supposed to carry all these?!”….’Pile them up like Jenga??’….”Is there a box around?!”….’No Sir’….”…fucking ridiculous…give me the fucking bag then”….. And then they try to haggle you down the price of it….and this was when they first came out so they were like..I dunno..€0.07!! come on love..stretch the wallet a little, you can’t bring it with you, though you can bring the plastic bag to keep your feet warm in your coffin!!

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