Lyrics in 2012 – Nicki Minaj

I have heard this song blared out of the radio at work many times over the last few months and as usual it just washes over me. This happens for two reasons. Firstly, all music played on the radio is usually violent excrement disguised in Autotune and secondly I’m usually too busy to notice the vile festival of nothing that perpetuates our daily lives. (I should also point out that I hear white noise when the first second of a song has artificial instruments, but that’s my cross to bear.) But today it was rather quiet at work so the radio was my broseph for the day. What a horrible situation.

I heard this absolute – no, no, no…I will leave my opinion aside (for once) and give you the lyrics to this “song” I heard properly for the first time today.

Ladies and Gentleman I give you successful 2012 recording artist Nicki Minaj with her “song” “Starships”

Red one
Let’s go to the beach, each
Let’s go get away
They say, what they gonna say?
Have a drink, clink, found the Bud Light
Bad bitches like me, is hard to come by
The Patrón, own, let’s go get it on
The zone, own, yes I’m in the zone
Is it two, three, leave a good tip
I’ma blow all my money and don’t give two shits

I’m on the floor, floor
I love to dance
So give me more, more, ‘til I can’t stand
Get on the floor, floor
Like it’s your last chance
If you want more, more
Then here I am

Starships were meant to fly
Hands up and touch the sky
Can’t stop ‘cause we’re so high
Let’s do this one more time

Starships were meant to fly
Hands up and touch the sky
Let’s do this one last time
Can’t stop…

(We’re higher than a motherfucker) [x3]

Jump in my hooptie hooptie hoop
I own that
And I ain’t paying my rent this month
I owe that
But fuck who you want, and fuck who you like
That’s our life, there’s no end in sight
Twinkle, twinkle little star

Now everybody let me hear you say ray ray ray
Now spend all your money cause today’s pay day
And if you’re a G, you a G, G, G
My name is Onika, you can call me Nicki

Get on the floor, floor
Like it’s your last chance
If you want more, more
Then here I am

Starships were meant to fly
Hands up and touch the sky
Can’t stop ‘cause we’re so high
Let’s do this one more time

Starships were meant to fly
Hands up and touch the sky
Let’s do this one last time
Can’t stop…

(We’re higher than a motherfucker) [x3]

Starships were meant to fly
Hands up and touch the sky
Can’t stop ‘cause we’re so high
Let’s do this one more time

Starships were meant to fly
Hands up and touch the sky
Let’s do this one last time
Can’t stop…

(We’re higher than a motherfucker) [x3]

Before I go any further I should point out that the above lyrics took five, FIVE, people to write. Five people. Five people. Five people. Five people. Five people. (City Fathers bonus points for the first person to get the reference). Don’t believe it takes five people to write that cock? Here you go. A screenshot from the lyrics page I took it from.

20120620-091639 p.m..jpg

Five people, it took five people. Imagine some other things five people could do? Not those five people though…they are clearly defective human beings more suited to chewing their own feet for sustenance. It is absolutely shocking.

A line in that pic above states “It is one of those songs that will make you feel good and dance like there is no tomorrow”. I take that line personally. That “song”, drowned in Autotune and atrocious structure, does not make me feel good or dance like there is no tomorrow. It does, however, make me want to slit my own throat and stuff jagged metal in the wound. Then, perhaps, I would “dance like there is no tomorrow”.

I am genuinely starting to believe that this type of, so called, music is a device to dumb down the population of earth. Why you ask? Il fucking tell you! There will soon be major fuel crisis, it has started already with the price of oil sky rocketing. If people are mentally vacant enough to find this song entertaining then perhaps they will also not notice the cold in winter. Homes across the world will lose the capacity to feel cold thus reducing the need for oil and other fuels. Petrol will be a thing of the past as people will not have the mental capacity to function well enough to drive a car. The list goes on. Don’t get me started on turf.

The world is fucked, and I mean fucked, if this sort of shit is allowed to continue. Shall we try to “Occupy The Airwaves”?…Nah not worth it. I have a better plan and I will need help.

The City Fathers will acquire an island for everybody that likes this music to live on. We will also import all of your bling encrusted talentless fuckwit heroes…Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga, Jay Z and all the rest for your enjoyment. You are happy and the rest of us are happy. Just don’t attempt to butter a slice of bread incase you burn the island down guys, we are spending The City Fathers beer budget on that island and trust me that figure is massive.

Kanye West will also be on the plane but so will I. Rather than put him on the island i have a better idea. I do not want Kanye West anywhere near a vagina incase he reproduces.

20120620-101005 p.m..jpg

Kanye will be thrown over an active volcano surrounded by starving lions and snakes. Due to the incredible hunger in the group, the lions and snakes have learned to work together for the common good and of course the well being of their Lion and Snake babies. They will form a tight bond and thus will not fight over Kanyes badly beaten body…nor will they care about the step ladder rammed down his throat or the Nintendo Wii console rammed where the sun dont shine. No, they will simply split the horrifically beaten body of Kanye West 50:50 and go their separate ways. The animals are happy and the world is a better place after his violent murder, everybody wins…except for Kanye West…meaning everybody wins.

Did I go off topic? Not really. I just took it where you didn’t expect it to go and that, my beautiful reader, is how it is done.

Pick that one out,
Steve

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About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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