Ok. The dream is over lads, it’s all over. Being Irish I am used to crushing disappointment and harrowing despair but tonight has taken the bastard cake. Irelands involvement in Euro 2012 was to be a great thing for the country, something to show the rest of the Europe that we are great…the exact opposite happened. Rather than setting the foundations for the Celtic Tiger, Euro 2012 has set the foundations for millennia of austerity. Angela Merkel is laughing her diamond encrusted knickers off at us lads. It’s a dark dark day.
The worst part about this shambles (shout out to Roy Keane there) of a tournament is that there is not one single glorious memory like all the other tournaments had. Remember your youth dear reader, remember it? This country BADLY needed a lift and it didn’t get it’s definitive “Packie Bonner” moment. That, dear friend, is the worst part. I will take nothing positive away from this experience and that hurts the most.
Now, usually The City Fathers are here to further your anger at the world. We often shout at the established mentality of this country and it’s (new found) people. We often blast the balls off of popular culture that offers nothing other than Kanye West and his so called ‘music’. But tonight, of all nights, there’s gonna be a fight! Shit sorry…Boomtown Rats reference, could not resist.
I’m here to cheer you lovely potatoe licking fun boys up. Here are the glorious, timeless moments we did not get at this tournament.
I was only three years old at the time so I honestly do not remember it but I have watched all the games on Realing in the years…that counts right? Ray Houghton sticks the ball in the English net.
The penalties against Romania…do I even need to introduce this? I remember Packie saving the penalty and David O’Leary sticking away the penalty. But I, like everybody else in this country, have no memory of the football match before it! I was 5 years old so I had an excuse…the rest of you were hammered! I was looking all over YouTube for the perfect clip of this and no other suited the moment quite like this. Then Toto Scillachi ruined the craic the aul prick!
I will never forget this. What a moment. Ray Houghton sticks it in the Italian net! I remember my mother, ever the optimist saying “Ahh, they scored too early”! I was but a lad delighted at seeing Ireland scoring in Giants Stadium against the Italian footballing giants and she had me worried the wagon! My mother reads this site so…Sorry mammy…I’m just joking!
Japan South Korea 2002
Ahem…ahhhhm…huh. Well, what do you say about all that craic?
The late Robbie Keane goal against the Germans?
A time where we held our own against Spain and took them to penalties?
The Damien Duff bow to the crowd?
World Cup 2002 is easily the most eventful tournament we have been to but I just love this! Zero controversy…no Mick v Roy stuff…just 100% pure positivity!
Well well well. There is nothing. Absolutely nothing to take away and say “where were you when…” just nothing. I will remember three things from Irelands excursions into this tournament.
1. James McClean snubbed while Simon Cox plays in all three games.
2. Laughable substitutions and disgraceful tactics.
3. “The Rocky Road To Poland” The absolute worst thing about 2012 Ireland. Marketing speak thrown around like Today FM are auditioning for the apprentice. “We’ll not forget you Jack” what the fuck kind of a sentence, let alone a lyric, is that? “Learn you Polish grammar” is another fine dublin housewife lyric exhibited in this bastardisation of music and the English language outside of D4. You can just hear 20-50 year old hardened football fans belting that song out in the rainy stands of Poznan cant you?
It was more of a rugby song I think…you know rugby don’t you? A sport nobody gives a fuck about in 94% of the worlds countries and a sport where you technically don’t have qualify for the world cup?
There are many more ridiculous lyrics in that disgrace of a song but I am already depressed enough. I am fairly sure that song gave me SuperAids. Thanks Damian Dempsey, Bressie, some cunt from The Coronas and all the rest of you middle of the road footnotes for that, cheers lads. Football songs are usually bad but that….that is a reason for anybody associated with the recording and writing of that slight on Lucifer to be deported to a remote war torn island 257 miles from the coast of Fuck. A nation exhales.
Clearly I am in a deranged mood but hopefully I have cheered you fine people up.
We all dream of a team of Gary Breens.