Steve meets an Idiot.

So there I was at work today, “living the dream” as I usually do. I was in good form as nobody had pissed me off yet. I thought today would be the first day in months where I didn’t leave work in a bad mood…until this happened.

A guy calls in to get a CD repaired. I explain that it would take a few minutes and I kindly ask him to have a look around and call back. So I pop the disc in to the magic machine and sit back and listen to the horrible noises it creates while tearing a layer from a disc. To fill the time I check the CD case and discover that it was a home made Metallica Greatest Hits, nice! (I doubt Lars Ulrich would see it that way, he hates pirates…especially pirates targeting his multi-million bank account)

The guy calls back and I talk to him about the CD. It turns out his girlfriend burned him a CD of her favorite Metallica songs for him to listen to and get in to. I immediately imagined her as a smoking hot rock chick that is slumming it with this tool but whatever! This is how the rest of the conversation went.

“So this girlfriend of yours…Is she hot? Oh you lucky Metallica-fan-girlfriend-having son of a gun! How are things going for you guys? Mind if I elbow in on your good times?”

Haha no…thats only what went on in my head, this is the conversation.

Steve – So what do you make of Metallica?

Lucky Guy – Ya, it’s not bad. A few good tunes.

Steve – Many, many good songs! Have you listened to Seek and Destroy yet? It’s class.

Lucky Guy – Not a fan of that one really, I love Nothing Else Matters though.

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At this point I had an out of body experience and went to my happy place. I realise I couldn’t just punch him in the face for his blasphemous comments on the greatest song in history Seek and Destroy so I just end the conversation rapidly and get him as far away from me as possible. I hold my head in my hands and curse the world I live in as I repeatedly kick the person next to me in the balls…it calms me down. I immediately bar him from the store (in my head) for his own personal safety and go home early to cry in a corner.

This person offended me. How in the name of the lord god Ryan Giggs could anybody say such a thing to me?! This song inspired me to pick up the guitar, it inspired me to jump around like a crazed lunatic and it inspired me to write this masterful blog entry.

I have seen Metallica live several times and each one of those gigs was the best gig of my life… until the Metallica gig. The first time I heard this song live I flipped my lid, if somebody had told me I had won the lotto on the same day I signed for Manchester United it would be a less crazy reaction than that of a young Steve seeing Metallica play that song 20 feet away from me. I remember knocking a biker clean out of my way as I made my way up toward the front of the pit as a young lad back in August 2003. (Yes I did just go check the date on the ticket)

These damn young people nowadays just wouldn’t be able for that level of joy. They are too busy with their Sega Megadrives, Video machines and their coloured hula hoops to know a good thing when they see it.

Listen to this song and it will change your life, I guaran-damn-tee it.

Metallica – Seek and Destroy…you are welcome folks.

See, I told you.


About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
This entry was posted in Are you serious Bro?, Song of the... and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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