Oh Fernando…you did it son. The old addage “he just needs one to go in off his arse” really shines through today! Torres scuffed a shot against a championship side in Leicester City (The sexy foxes as Rory would say) and he almost immediately looked super confident. To be fair to the guy his second goal was excellent, reminds me of his Liverpool days where he was unplayable.
Today he scored his 6th and 7th goals for Chelsea since he joined them in Jan 2011 for £50m! It’s piss-poor. Until today’s FA Cup game he hadn’t scored a goal since Oct 19th 2011 against Genk in Europe. How the hell did it take him so bloody long?! Its hilarious.
Just think about that for a minute. The 4th most expensive player in the history of football went 5 months between goals. Think of all the stuff that has happened since then…
19th Oct – Torres scores a goal.
31st Oct – Halloween.
8th Nov – Modern Warefare 3 Launch.
27 Nov – Occupy Galway shows up…
8th Dec – Something Religion related.
23rd Dec – City Fathers Xmas Party.
25th Dec – Santa Clause arrives!
26th Dec – Worldwide Piss-up.
1st Jan – A New Year Dawns.
2nd Jan – Everybody quits smoking.
3rd Jan – Every starts smoking again.
1st Feb – Transfer window closes.
11th Feb – Whitney Houston passes on.
14 Feb – Valentines Day.
1st Mar – Everybody stops spending…
17th Mar – …and spends it on drink.
18th Mar – Torres scores a goal.
Now I tried to go find actual headlines but it was too much hassle so I put in my own. My favourite one that didn’t make the cut was that I have shaved approximately 105 times in between his goals!
Now does today mean that Torres is going to go on a run of a few games and score a few goals? It is hard to say. Fernando Torres is capable of anything at anytime, the quick video below will astound you.
I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life. I nearly fell over a table laughing!
Fernando, you are so entertaining no matter what you do. Carry on son!