…so anyway where were we? Oh yes that’s right, my odd thoughts! See my mind doesn’t work the way yours does, it’s no better or worse it just acts differently. I have been in the same job now for a long time which has led to me being able to do it spectacularly well while on auto pilot. This gives me lots of time to have these random funny thoughts…hence my blog posts!
See when I grow up I want to be a filthy rich waster that rarely leaves the house other than to praise the hard work and dedication of my Mexican garden staff. That’s my ideal existence. People that say that they would continue to work if they won the Lotto are simply filthy liars. You are the same people that would service a donkey for those sweet sweet millions! You would show up for a day just to call your boss every name under the sun and be done by 10.30 in the morning, you know it!
Iv been thinking a lot about my future lately and I have come to the conclusion that I’m too old to be living paycheck to paycheck and I need a new plan. If anybody has one for me let me know in the comments! This is where my crazy mind comes into play. I daydream a lot and I believe I have come up with a good few million dollar tv show and movie ideas, there are things on TV as we speak that are awful compared to my sexy ideas!
So here are a few of my brilliant ideas….
Pet Shop in Space
Rory runs a little pet shop in a run down area of Mars. He spends his day feeding the fish and dreaming of meeting the perfect woman but instead gets daily hilarious beatings from space thieves. As the beatings take a toll on his face throughout the series he is forced to lower his standards and winds up marrying that regular looking nobody girl in the cafe across the road in the space cafe. His life is then filled with constant disappointment until eventually he is brutally murdered by the space thieves while defending his pet shop. His wife is distraught but takes the glasses off, lets her hair down… which leads to a spin off…
Sexy Action Girl
Rory’s widow decides to take revenge on the space thieves that hilariously murdered her husband. The image of Rory with 14 parrots shoved down his neck haunts her dreams. She still cannot understand why he didn’t give that thief the 5 space bucks he had in the till. He’s a stubborn cheap bastard but she loves him and begins her Revengathon!
Body after body after body is found in the wasteland on Mars by the Space Cops until Sexy Action Girl is found and brought to justice by Detective Larry O’Malley and locked up for life. The series ends with Sexy Action Girl throwing darts at a picture of Rory in her crappy jail cell where she will spend the rest of her days cursing his name.
Crime is A Five Letter Word :The Dectective Larry O’Malley Story.
Tough nosed with a heart of gold Dectective Larry O’Malley is the best damn cop in town. The prosecution of Sexy Action Girl has earned O’Malley the freedom of Mars and the attention of the Mayor of New York City. NYC is having a terrible problem with murderous widows dressed as ninjas roaming the streets at night. The Mayor wants his streets clean and there is only one man for the job.
Larry is unsure at first. After all he is the son of a simple Mars elephant farmer, he has never been off the block let alone outside of Mars. He is worried about the spaceship journey to earth and the fact that he may never see his kids and 17 ex-wives again. Larry consults his first wife, Sarah, about the issue. Sarah was there for O’Malley while he was a trainee at Mars Police Academy and reminds him that he took an oath to protect and serve as a young cop and tells him she can still see that youthful optimism in his eyes. O’Malley nods, puts on his coat and hat, makes the call to Mayor Murphy of New York City then heads for the Spaceship.
After seeing his new office O’Malley begins his assignment. He looks into the case and notices that these crazed widows all seem to be highly unstable women. Luckily Larry has plenty of experience in this field and has rounded them all up by lunchtime on his 12th day. New York City is in an awful state after his arrest-fest. Larry does whatever it takes to get the job done. The Chief of Police is disgusted by O’Malleys renegade ways and the Mayor is on his ass after all the destruction of public property. After a perfectly timed one liner, O’Malley leaves the office… safe in the knowledge that he got the job done. The camera cuts to the window to reveal a wide eyed, pissed off and jail broken Sexy Action Girl…Series 1 ends…
You know you would watch all of those shows! Now as I mentioned at the top of this post…my mind works differently than yours. The only idea I had was the title “Pet Shop in Space” the rest just came flying out of my genius mind.
I have not patented these ideas as I don’t believe any of you can pitch these ideas as confidently as I can to Hollywood producers, I could sell a guy his own watch so Im not worried…that sack of cash is mine.
Put that in your blog,