Steves Epic Journey

So it’s nearly 6 hours into 2012 and I have already had my first adventure. I’m going to try to keep what happened previous to this short. Essentially I met my good bro Clive for pints early in the night…we had more pints and then the odd pint after that. Then my broski John showed up straight from canada (true story) with his Canadian girlfriend, a lovely woman who put up with our insane ramblings pub after pub after pub.

So John had the inspired idea to go to a house party out in the middle of Fuck Co.Galway. I went along because I thought it was a great idea. Johns girlfriend managed to get us a taxi and off we went. The party was shit and a girl was asleep on the couch beside me…time to leave we thought.

Away we went walking through this estate somewhere out the Tuam Road and we flag a taxi. I’m still unsure of what happened but I think I told them to hop in without me because we were going different ways. I think that’s what happened but John rang me to apologise, I still dont know why! John whatever happened…I blame myself…relax bro!

So I begin walking down the Tuam road toward town. I see buildings iv only ever seen while in a car or bus…I’m that far out of town alone, cold and trying to figure out where I am. But it led to the best craic I ever had! A 40min walk…for glory! This is my story.

So I walk out of an estate a little worse for ware and I decide to walk right. I have no idea why but I thought it was a safe bet. (actually thank Christ I did! I’d still be walking!) The first road sign I see is this.

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I am now even more worried about my whereabouts and what sort of deviant I could run into. Seeing as I’m confused I decided to trust the road signs. I said to myself “Steve, the next sign you see that is in English…do exactly what it says”

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After running around in a circle for 100 minutes I became hungry and even more confused. I sat down at a bus shelter to compose myself.

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Subway were closed and flat out refused to deliver to a bus shelter so I decided to pay a visit to a grave yard.

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Those sons of bitches were closed for the night so I had to find somewhere else to kill the time.

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After a quick work out I returned to my journey. I was quickly running out of ideas so I consulted a randomer.

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Turns out he was great craic and we fist pumped as men. Moments later I fell down and became disorientated. I started to see weird signs everywhere and became worried about how long I was out for.

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I’m now getting more and more angry until I spot a quiet place to pop on for a few mins.

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€3 pints?! Get in there. Turns out it was close to 6am and they were closed…for shame. I became extremely upset.

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After an unsatisfactory visit to my local TD to complain I carried on. Luckily I spotted a barbers and got myself a quick trim. Looking sexy as fuck I continued my epic journey.

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This man was great craic, all he wanted to do was party all night long! I told him my tale and while he couldnt tell me how to get home or a taxi he gave me the inspiration to help others

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I spent an hour or so helping the kids and it gave me the energy to carry on…”You sir are better than Jesus” remarked the manager of the center. I was so happy with my work that I thought I would treat myself to a sweet sweet bottle of water.

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The shop was also closed…not very convenient Enda. But as luck would have I start to find my bearings. I started to spot things I would associate with Galway city centre…

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Sure enough I found my way home and it was time celebrate!

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After fist pumping with those lads I took a walk into Supermacs. I normally cannot stand Supermacs but after that 40min walk I would have eaten anything…and I did! Snackbox baby ohhhh yeah!

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So I walk down toward my place and I got talking to two ladies. They were great craic and after they stole most of my food they celebrated my journey too!

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So that is my first adventure of 2012 but it would not have been possible without John telling me to come to a house party and then the resulting confusion with the taxis. That was great craic though! So next time you are in a crap situation just find a way to knock some fun out of it. See, look how happy I was when I made it home!

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Now I’m well aware that I am hammered writing this at 6.30am so I am going to email this to Future Steve and he can spell check it tomorrow. That poor hungover son of a bitch is going to be so angry!

Put that in your blog.
Steve

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About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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6 Responses to Steves Epic Journey

  1. Ciara says:

    Woo, Gwan the Prospect Hill 🙂 Excellent Tale. I see a film in the pipeline….

    • Cheers Ciara. The movie is actually on hold due to damn politics from the director and his posse. Turns out he wants to cast Queen Latifa as Steve and the boy band Five as the randomers I met. I can’t in good conscience sign off on that

      • Ciara says:

        I agree on the Five motion. They’re a great bunch of lads. Woeful energetic. Like puppies…or swallows. But Queen Latifa? Everyone knows that Nicki Minaj would be a GREAT Steve. I feel she would shine in the running round in circles scene. I also propose that Will Ferrell make a special appearance as the chips you found. I’m not sure about the reasoning behind this, I just picture him being great as a giant box of taco fries. Work on that. Remember a sharp kick in the face is usually great for getting a job done.

        • Thanks Ciara, we should sit down and discuss this movie. I’m thinking, now bear with me here, the whole thing is set in war torn Baghdad. I find the only place in town that sells beer and the insanity begins. Sure, the US soldiers will be extremely confused by my drunken stumble home but god damn it they will respect me! If you have any further ideas send them to thecityfathers@gmail.com

  2. Simone says:

    That’s was just Total Awesomeness. I may have come close to death from laughter

  3. John.... says:

    My god. What a story,

    This was a tale of bravery and deception, of anger and calming acceptance, of Supermacs and Shane. Tis is what great stories are made from…..

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