So it’s Friday night and I’m playing Call of Duty again. The life of a single man ey? While I am of course staring blankly at my TV, slowly sinking into my man chair as my beer supply rapidly depletes I find I’m learning valuable life lessons. Its true.
The Call of Duty series is of course the biggest entertainment release of the year…every single year. I sell video games for a living and the wide spectrum of people that buy it shocks me every year. This game is a great way for people to get together online and blow the the living fuck out of each other while passing on nuggets of wisdom. This game has taught me so much about life and I want to share this with those of you that don’t play it. Heed my words folks, the following is a list of things I have learned.
I can shoot my friends right in the face and they won’t die. The bullet will actually not even make contact.
If I start a fire only my enemies will suffer. My friends however can dance away in the fire laughing it up like a pack of wild Aran islanders after seeing a plate of ham sandwiches.
American kids are the most annoying people on the planet hands down. If you spot one smack him right in the face before he has a chance to speak.
Racism is ok as long as they are racist first. Shocking but true it seems?
You deserve to be berated by psychotic Eastern Europeans if you make a mistake. You will take it and smile while calling him “Sir”.
Helicopters of any description are to be feared…get a rocket launcher as quick as possible and take that shit down.
RC cars are a threat on your life. Get as far away from them as possible. Cross the street if you see somebody playing with one. Vicious little bastards they are.
Robbing the dead is to be encouraged. Snatch everything you can carry and get out of there bro!
Don’t even think about planning ahead in life. Just run around the edges of life and pick your moments.
Teamwork is for losers.
If nothing in life is working just hide in a corner until rewards come to you.
If somebody pisses you off just make wild assumptions about that persons sexual preferences until they go away.
Communication is a waste of time, just do whatever you want all the time. It’s how I live my life and look at me…I’m amazing.
So with the new year approaching why not take some of these lessons on board and see how you get on?
Put that in your blog!