Steves 30th Bucket List

So it’s my birthday in two weeks and it’s becoming clear to me that I’m heading to the big 30 at a ludicrous pace. There are so many things I wanted to do before turn 30 and it’s time I made a start.

Now I’m not big on travel, fitness, career goals and all that useless crap, i just want the simple things in life. So the following is a list of goals I think I can achieve.

Punch Kanye West right in the balls.

See Athlone.

Play for Manchester United (can’t be that hard these days)

Fake my own death. Then fist pump my way out of the coffin at the funeral to “September” by Earth Wind and Fire.

Bang Arsene Wengers head off a table.

Go on the piss with Enda Kenny.

Complete screenplay for “Football in the Groin 2”

Complete screenplay for “Football in the Groin 3D…ON ICE”

Figure out exactly what is “sooo raven”

Invent a new energy source, Stenergy

Have somebody explain to me (using small words) how a plane flys.

Stand up on a plane and scream “Were all gonna die!”

Make Sepp Blatter disappear…

Call a priest a cunt.

Propose to the bride on her way up the aisle.

Discover intelligent life on the Aran Islands.

Figure out who invented caramel and lick his/her face.

Stumble down the street in sunglasses with a cane and smack as many people in the legs as I can until the jig is up!

Slap Simon Cowell with a fish.

Take Wes Mantooths mother out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.

Run into a classroom and tell the kids Santa isn’t real, ha that’d be cool!

Enforce a “No Rihanna” rule.

Scream “you’re all wasting your lives” in a church.

Shoot a townie scumbag…A SMILE!

Scarlett Johansson.

So that’s all fairly achievable I think. Il need a little help along the way but that’s what life is all about isn’t it? Putting up with other peoples bullshit?

Put that in your blog.

Steve

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About thecityfathers

We sit around all day stroking our beards, clucking our tongues and discussing what's to be done with this Homer Simpson
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4 Responses to Steves 30th Bucket List

  1. Alan C says:

    Oddly I have already seen a guy do the blind cane whacking thing!!!

  2. maiready says:

    dorothy mantooth is a saint!

  3. 21outsonline says:

    See Athlone! ha ha nice!

  4. Lisa says:

    i believe i can help you with more than one on this list 😛

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